1500s: The American Revolutionary War begins: “The reason we fought the revolution in the sixteenth century was to get away from that kind of onerous crown.”—Rick Perry
1787: Slavery is banned in the Constitution: “We also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”—Michele Bachmann
1916: Planned Parenthood opens genocide clinics: “When Margaret Sanger—check my history—started Planned Parenthood, the objective was to put these centers in primarily black communities so they could help kill black babies before they came into the world.”—Herman Cain
1999: Global cooling begins: “For the last decade the climate has been cooling.”—Mary Matalin
Click-through to see the full timeline of U.S. History, in the words of conservatives: http://nyr.kr/QlOaJO
Conservative history in a nutshell:



